We find that parents and teachers often share the same dilemmas though from different perspectives. This week a teacher confided to us that she often leaves school asking herself, “What am I doing wrong?” Parents have also expressed a similar sentiment.

As parents and teachers we definitely have very trying jobs. We’re often exhausted and discouraged. But we wonder about the helpfulness of her question, “What am I doing wrong?” This reflection seems to judge, to pre-assign blame to herself. It suggests that WE are the problem.

A more helpful question might be, “What could have been done differently?” or “What could be done in the future?” These questions don’t cast blame. They simply ask us to view the situation from another perspective, almost as a third person or a researcher might do.

How wonderful if every teacher and parent continually evaluated their interactions with children in order to strive to be the best they can be. We think it’s so important to be open to change AND to be nice to yourself.